fooflamfinn

It feels like I've been in the same place mentally for the past 5 years: hating my current career path, and not sure where to go from here. It'll take me years to be a good enough artist or even writer to make it big. At least it feels that way. Discouragement and motivation...these two bastards seem to mate on a regular basis in my head.

Tucked Away

I have a pink box, scuffed and torn,
no ribbon or bow,
where I tuck away my frustrations and doubts, my hateful thoughts and rages;
folded neatly, stacked one on top another.
Sometimes I shake the box to see what comes out.
Sometimes I kick it over by accident and accept the consequences.
Then I fold them all up again,
and put them away.

"Time and I don't get along well."

That's my usual response to any one who comments about my lateness. I am somewhat lazy, but honestly I just lose track of time. And what I have usually goes to someone else. So remembering to take time for myself can be hard. But I'm trying, even if it's just 5 minutes to sketch something, or create something with Legos.

The three concepts (separate, though interlinked) that I keep reminding myself:

1. Art can be anything.
2. Inspiration is everywhere.
3. Keep it simple.

There's some part of me begging to break out of the crap rut I've been in lately and do something creative. So I guess this is one of those ways I thought would help...I'm finally writing down ideas I get for stories, and sketching a bit more as well. I'm debating about learning coding for games (Java/C++) and just trying to find the time/energy to do it all. Wife, son and work devour the majority of my being, and time-wasters most of what remains.

So who knows...maybe I'll finally trig on what it is I'm meant to do, let alone what I *want* to do. Learning process and all that, right?